Monday, February 13, 2012

Bottled Water Makes You Stupid

Kids really are dumber these days. I can prove it.
Once upon a time, a young woman I know needed to attend a funeral for her grandmother. First thing she did, upon barging into Grammy's house (where they would be staying) was to peer, horrified, into the refrigerator. No bottled water!
Her mother had to talk her down. "Grammy doesn't HAVE bottled water."
Then where does she get her water from? Not the faucet!!??
I said, "Lavinia, do you know where the water in the bottles comes from?"
She said, "Mm, yeah... It comes from... Pristine."
"Not likely," I answered. "The water most likely comes from a municipal source."
"So?"
Whew, rude. I said, "Do you know what 'municipal' means?"
"Yeah, sure, I do," she replied, a little testily.
"Well, then, what does it mean?"
"It's um, oh... When the water... hmmm."
"What does 'municipal' mean?"
"I know. It's, um..."
"Come on."
"It's, um... Bus."

13 comments:

Kailyn said...

LOL. Make me the mother and my mother into Lavinia and well...
As you know we have a really special relationship.

Bottled water is what I did in San Diego because the stuff that flowed from the taps there just tasted a wee bit off. Only place I readily drank bottled water. But here in the Bay Area? We have some of the best water around. Why should we pay a premium for water?

James said...

There are a million ways to separate a person from his/her money. Buying bottled water I don't think even Mr. Barnum thought of that one! Cheers.

cookiecrumb said...

NO GREEN SMOOTHIES FOR ME, NONONO

breeamal said...

I swear I can taste the plastic.

Zoomie said...

The only bottled water we have is our in-case-of-earthquake supply. The stuff that comes out of my tap is delicious.

Greg said...

:) Stoopid!

cookiecrumb said...

Kailyn: Yeah, San Diego water is "softened," I think. I could never get my hair clean there on just a few tries.
But, my goodness, we have good native water here!

James: Ha ha! Still, I'll bet he sold water from a bucket by the ladleful. Cheers.

Breeamal: You can. That's just one scary thing about it.

Zoomie: Wow, I'm tickled by all the bottle haters. I wonder if the trend has peaked. I remember in the 80s you could buy a shoulder holster to brandish your bottle.

Greg: Have you had a lot of bottled water to drink? :)

Cali said...

Near where I live, up here in either "God's Country" or "No Man's Land," depending on how you look at it, there is a town that was originally a little gold rush town called "Dog Town." It was re-named because by then they were trying to market the town to SoCal retirees. The name they chose was "Paradise." A misnomer if ever there was one, particularly considering the red dirt that stains everything it touches, "provisional" 90 year-old drivers that either drive 15 in a 45 or ram into whatever is in front of them at break-neck speed, and all of the meth freaks. (There is even a commercial for a paint and body shop that is written to be deliberately slow-paced with black and white images of classic cars, with elevator music in the background that actually says "For some reason Paradise had more than its fair share of accidents..."! Really!) Plus, I don't think many SoCal retirees are looking to shovel snow every winter. But I digress.

What I really can't believe is that somebody hasn't started bottling water there so they could market it as "Water From Paradise!"

cookiecrumb said...

Cali: DO IT! :D
So that's where you live... Can we talk you out of it? After you make your fortune on Water from Paradise.

breeamal said...

I still buy the stuff when I'm out and forgot to bring my stainless steel bottle, but I always feel ripped off. I bought a nice undersink filter a few years ago, it costs me about $55 a year foal all the delicious water my pets, plants and I can drink. Use the plastic for something more useful, it's such a waste of petroleum.

cookiecrumb said...

Breeamal: Great on the stainless bottle! I don't have one myself, and I've been occasionally trapped into buying a plastic bottle, for I have sinned.
I'm wild about the idea of your filter. The water in my district can't be improved on; we're lucky here. But I applaud your choice.

Ms Brown Mouse said...

Our native water, squeezed from a tap, tastes just fine and dandy too :)

cookiecrumb said...

Mouse: Lucky are we, for water is my favorite beverage.