Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I Still Miss Him

I know it's not weird to miss my recently departed dog.
I'm even getting a little better.
I wonder when I'll stop missing him.
I hope I never do.

26 comments:

fastgrowtheweeds said...

Oh, CC, you might never stop. And that's what happens, and you're not crazy.

Okay, I gotta say: Obama DOES need to get off his dupa!

big hugs

Jana said...

i put my beloved doggie down almost a year ago... and i'm still heartbroken beyond belief...

Cali said...

I had to put down my beloved Labrador on August 18, 2008 and I still miss him every day. When I pull into my carport I still expect him to meet me at the gate. When I eat pizza I still look for my best friend to finish the crust.

Don't worry, you won't stop missing him or loving him. But the ache will lessen.

Alecto said...

My mother was a breeder and I grew up mostly with boxers. She did what she needed to do with the compromised puppies but did it with her teeth clenched and half blind with tears. She though I wasn't watching. Later when our dogs got older and it was time to let them go the pain she experienced was raw and vulnerable. She always kept their collars and I don't believe she forgot a single one and she's had an awful lot of doggies (13 current by last count never mind the horses, cats and birds). The first time we had to walk one of our horses to the rainbow bridge she wanted me to got get his halter. It's expensive, she told me, it's leather. And I'm thinking, woman, a leather halter costs no more than $17 and we don't have any other horses this big and probably never will (he was a rescue). It took me years to put the doggies together with the horses. These days when she leads them to the rainbow bridge she feeds them peppermint hard candy along the path and cries there and back. We never forget what has loved us so unconditionally, and there's no reason on earth why we should. If you don't know about the rainbow bridge you can find a bit about it here: http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm

Of course you still miss him. I miss him for you.

Elizabeth said...

I cried for two years over a cat I had to give away - and he's still alive! But I missed him so much. Still do, actually, although I have now (finally) visited him in his new home and seen that he's healthy and happy. Pets are furry people, and the grieving process is just the same.

Alice Q. Foodie said...

waaah!

Zoomie said...

When I lost my mother, a wise friend of hers told me, "You will never get over it, but you will get past it." If you didn't love him, you wouldn't miss him now. He was lucky and so were you.

Zoomie said...

Oops, forgot to mention that I do love the new tagline in your header!

Pink Granite said...

You'll likely never stop missing him and you'll never forget him. But the aching pain of the grief does continue to ease.

dancingmorganmouse said...

You'll never forget, worry not on that scale, they permanently mark your heart, furry beasties. A little, smudgey, fur-lined mark, rather like the one they leave on blankets and clean laundry. xx

limoncello said...

This may not be the thing to say, but we put Mrs. Bitters down five years ago and we miss her EVERY. single. day. Our hearts still hurt for the loss. But of course that's no longer center stage, just bittersweet.
Trite though this is, the fact is that it's wonderful to think back on the fun outings and quirky personality, and be grateful to have had all that. I mean, what if I hadn't? What a loss THAT would be.

Veena said...

what a sweetie, how could you ever stop missing him.

Ellen Zachos said...

You will never stop missing him, but you WILL stop bursting in to tears at a moment's memory. (I'm just guessing you do that.) It took me a little over a year, with the intervals getting longer in between crying jags, but I'll always miss my Kyra.

Kevin said...

CC,
You won't. I still choke up about The Beast and SweetThing - and The Beast died eight years ago.

Rev. Biggles said...

Go have a gander in to your heart, see? He's right there where he used to be, still looks in to your eyes the same way. He's still there, you just have to look in a different place for him now.

xo, Biggles

ChrisB said...

I still miss my Tamsie after 16 years. It took a very long time before thinking about her made me happy and not sad. If that makes sense!

J-in-Wales said...

A wise person once told me that "He's not just a dog".
She was right.
You've lost a friend. Give yourself time to grieve. As long as it takes.

cookiecrumb said...

Guilty as charged: I put out a message for a group hug, and boy, did I get one.
T H A N K S !
Some of your thoughts are so brilliant; some so comforting. I'm still reeling from the poetry of the Rev. Dr. Biggles; you are right, sir.
I guess I'm a mess because the emotions are such an unhomogeneous soup. Some days I'm teary, some days I'm glad he doesn't need us anymore. I've even entered the sick phase of "maybe I was a bad mom."
Sigh.
Seriously, thank you all. (Damn you Alecto, that Rainbow Bridge, as dippy as it is, just slays me.)
Chris, I almost know Tamsie myself; all the love for her has crossed the ocean and I feel it too.
Limoncello, yes -- to have experience the joy of living with him was worth it.
Jana, my heart goes out to you, and all you others who still tragically miss your pals.

Can't believe people noticed my new banner subhead! Eee. xo

Katie said...

Losing a pet is losing a family member. The family is never the same. It may change and evolve into something different, but the loss will always be there. Hugs.

xpariswestx said...

Beauregard shuffled off in March 2004. I stopped wishing he was there to talk to sometime in 2007, I think. His portrait [of sorts] is emblazoned in purples and greys over my heart. He was 17; I still miss him.

I brought Ash home a few months after B'gard's death. He'd been at the SPCA for most of his 18 months at that point. ?! Heaven forfend I should face that void again any year soon, but if I do I hope I'll take my own advice:
go ahead and rebound if you find some little furry thing who either needs you or seems to think you need him/her. They're probably right. But it won't interfere with the mourning.

cookiecrumb said...

Katie: I'm having a good adjustment. Still sad. Thanks for your help.

xpariswest: Ooh. Many mental adjustments. I can hardly tell you where I'm at, but there might be a Humane Society visit tomorrow. No expectations.

Lannae said...

You probably won't stop missing the little guy. He was so cute.

bewitchingkitchen said...

You will miss him forever. A dog I had in Brazil twenty years ago was killed (poisoned) by a neighbor (we could not prove he did it, but had our suspicions).

I find it still very hard to even talk about it.

cookiecrumb said...

Lannae: He was devastatingly cute. But I just miss his weight, his wag, his warmth. Wah.

BK: Oh, that is dreadful. I'm so sorry. Thanks for your perspective, as sad as it is. Cheers.

seantimberlake said...

My heart aches for you. I know so many who have lost their pets recently. It makes me want to scoop Reese up in my arms and never let her go. As I am sure you will never let Sprout go. Keep him close, forever.

cookiecrumb said...

Sean: That is so beautifully put. Thank you for the comfort.
As my emotions become less raw, I trot out the old wisdom: "I got to love him the whole time I had him, and I still do, the rascal."
Enjoy your Reese time. I know you do.