Thursday, February 08, 2007

Eleven Pounds of Sauce

I saw my dentist yesterday.
It had been a while. Quite a while, but as I understand it, my saliva is magic and my teeth don't collect much build-up of tartar over time. My gums are healthy, too. I am lucky.
The only bad news is — well, ta-dah! It's good news: I'm going to be a princess. I'm getting a crown.
I have to buy it myself, though. Since I lost my job I don't have dental insurance.
My dentist asked me what I've been doing since my forced retirement, and whenever she took her latex-gloved fingers out of my mouth, I was able to answer in snippets.
"I'm spending some time on a blog."
(Scrape, scrape, scrape. Squirt, suck.)
"It's a food blog."
(Dig, dig, dig. Scrape, squirt.)
"I take pictures."
(Poke, poke. Jiggle, wiggle, uh-oh, X-rays; bite, ow.)
Finally, when the major excavations were finished, she told me she'd been out to dinner a few nights earlier, and the waiter announced that among the specials that evening was Sole with Eleven Pounds of Sauce.
"Sole with Eleven Pounds of Sauce?" cried my dentist, aghast. Well, you would be too.
No, said the waiter.
Sole with a Lemon Ponzu Sauce.


sher said...

Before I entered law school, I had fabulous teeth. Fabulous. Then the sheer horror of three years of the hell of law shcool caused me to develop tooth grinding, which led to cracking my teeth, which led to a bunch of crowns. (Clenching teeth as I write this!)

Greg said...

Just saying the word dentist makes my blood pressure rise.He got me for 3 grand plus what my plan paid. Have you ever seen a ponzu? They seem all the rage now.

Sean said...

Sweetie, if you're a princess then I'm queen of the world, I have so many crowns.

And I'm pretty sure I've been to at least one restaurant that served their entrees buried in eleven pounds of sauce. Maybe twelve even.

Melting Wok said...

hehe, hope you had a plesant visit to the dent-doc :) Anyway, on the lemon ponzu, got a great find there, this is great with light salads and some pan fried dumplings, yummys :)

D-man said...

CC - After a routine cleaning last summer, my dentist announced that it was time for my first crown. I had a similar take on the news, that is, turning something that was scarey into fun. We discussed my options. (I decided on all gold in a feeble attempt to gain respect of neighborhood youth here in Oak-town by upping my "bling" quotient.) I set an appointment for the next week.

I arrived at the next appointment:
"Hello Mr. C, how are you today?"

"Fantastic! I'm here for my coronation today!"

They all looked at me blank, then my dentist gave a little smirk and waved me back. I followed and started to apologize for my bad joke, until he turned around laughing and shaking his head:
"D, you're not gonna believe this, but you're the first person to use that line on me."

"No way!"

"Well, let's just say, most people don't keep it as light as you do when they come in for oral surgery." And he's been practicing for at least ten years. I guess folks don't tend to joke around much with the person about to inflict pain on them. Unless you're a Royal Freak like me.

Welcome to the "club."

Anna Haight said...

Oh... so funny, what a good laugh. Hope the crown thing isn't too painful in any place, including the pocket book.

Sue said...

Hee hee - reminds me of a time when I was out with a friend and the waiter told us about a dinner special with a 6 to 8 oz. fillet of whitefish.

"68 ounce fillet of whitefish?" I said to my friend. "That's like 4 pounds of fish!"

Needless to say it took some time to live that one down....

cookiecrumb said...

Sher: Oh, how sad. On the bright side, I will now think of you as Legally Blonde.

Greg: I'm getting away for about half that, fortunately. I know a guy who's growing yuzu trees, but I don't think you can grow a ponzu, BTW.

Sean: Thank goodness. I thought having a crown was all geezery, but you're young and frisky and I will think of you as the porcelain is applied.

MW: I have not yet tasted ponzu, I'm ashamed to admit. But on your great advice, I'm picking up a bottle.

D-Man: You're a Royal freak? Did you know I went to Point Reyes the year before last to see Prince Charles? I'll bet he's got some crowns!

Anna: I surprised even myself by making light of it. Cranky, on the other hand, is due for his second crown, and the news made him severely cranky.

Sue: Har! Well, restaurants can be rather noisy... :D

Moonbear said...

well I hope the sole with a lemon ponzu sauce didn't cost a nominal egg!

cookiecrumb said...

Moonbear: It's official. LOL. You win. I literally guffawed (and where have *I* been if I haven't heard that one before?).

Stacie said...

having just returned from the dentist, that is very current for me.... now let's see if I can eat dinner!

Dagny said...

Woohoo! I always knew I was royalty. I got my two crowns in college. The first involved biting into a slice of pizza with a generous amount of red chili flakes on top. As I went to chew, there was a weird crunch. Yep, I had lost part of a molar. *sigh*

Sam said...

I paid 600 GBP for my first crown and then when I got here to the USA it broke one day when I was eating a piece of chocolate and I had to pay $500 for a new one.

Are you getting a gold one or a white one? I was very close to gold but i wimped out.

cookiecrumb said...

I had no idea crowns were so common! Looks like I'll be in good company.
(Sam, I'm going for cheapo porcelain. It will be the whitest tooth in my mouth. No bling.)

Sam said...

well - be careful then - because clearly from my experience the cheap white porcelain ones might cost you more in the long run since they can break. Even though i had one that was reinforced with metal inside the porcelain.

they match the colour to your other teeth so it shouldnt be whiter, mine feels so perfect and smooth i like to lick it.

I have a white custom-made filling in another tooth and that feels good too.

Sam said...

the reason people get the gold is because they are the strongest btw, not because of the bling, (well maybe some cos of the bling) i also think they may not be more expensive than porcelain, can't remember - my dentist told me gold makes the best crowns in terms of resiliance but that most people don't want them.

cookiecrumb said...

Sam: Oh, well, shoo. Gold it is. Bling!! (Hm, maybe I'm fibbing.)
Say... Can I lick your tooth?
(So pre-verted.)