Actually, I'm the Dip Around Here

We've been eating really well, so sometimes it just seems reasonable to boob out on a meal.

A lot of times, that means potato chips, swear to god. (We're partial to Kettle, and occasionally Tim's Cascade, unflavored.) And that always calls for a dip. Usually onion dip, homemade, and I will tell you roughly how to make it in a minute.

But for now I want to share this hideous, gruesome, utterly captivating shortcut. A little dish of Marmite. A little monkey dish of Marmite! You only need to touch the edge of your chip to this molten umami. Practice helps. You really don't want too much.

So is it good? It's insane. I'm afraid you're going to have to like Marmite in the first place. Who would ever have believed that Cranky likes Marmite? This was his idea, in fact. I wish you would give it a try, because, well... I'm sure you've already made up your mind on it.

And since it's likely to be a "No," let me tell you how we make onion dip, without the packet of Lipton dust. First, go to Costco and buy a big jar of dehydrated onion flakes. We keep one in the pantry at all times, for this dip. Second, gather up two beef bouillon cubes. We keep those on hand for the same purpose.

OK, boil a bit of water. Place the beef cubes and about a tablespoon of onion flakes in a bowl, and pour a teeny, teeny splash of the hot water on them. Maybe two teaspoons, maybe more but not too much. You are only trying to hydrate the onions and melt the cubes. Leave it alone for a few minutes while you rustle up a sack of potato chips (or "crisps," as I might say merrily).

Now, spoon some tangy dairy product into the bowl. About a cup, but you can be generous. We use Greek yogurt most of the time, but sour cream is allowed, if sour cream is allowed. Cranky likes to add a dash of Worcestershire sauce at this point, but I consider it optional. You might like it.

Stir it up, little darlin'! Stir it up. Set the dip aside for ten minutes or so to burgeon, develop, exacerbate, prioritize. (Darn thesaurus.)

It's yummy. Very light on salt. Low fat, if you stick with the yogurt, but we never use reduced fat yogurt, gag — so ya know. Give it a try.

Or you could get a little monkey dish of Marmite.