Giorgio Foreman Cooked My Lunch

If you have one of those stupid meat "waffle iron" cookers, use it for hot sandwiches.
I got my little George for free when I worked at a newspaper. Swag was supposed to liberate me from my ethics, and lure me into writing wonderful things (aka unpaid advertorial, look it up) for the George Foreman Grill. Whatever it's called.
But really, would you trust a mangle to give you good steaks? Because that's all this thing is, a laundry press. With groovy griddle ridges inside.
Cook meat the way god intended, over fire. Flatten hot sandwiches the way god intended, in a small electrical appliance.
This flattened ham and cheese sandwich was decorated with homemade mustard and homemade pear chutney. Not bad, not bad a' tall!
It didn't cook long enough; the groovy stripes didn't turn toasty-dark, and not all the cheese melted. Someone in the kitchen was hungry, someone in the kitchen I know.
Well, that would have been mostly cosmetics, anyway. This tasted great, nonetheless.
Still, what a dirtbag machine.
No! Repurpose, repurpose, repurpose.
It's a tool for making panini, you ninny. Fancy! Stravagante.