Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Fancy That

You thought I locafailed yesterday? Look at this. And I did it on purpose.
If you haven't already figured it out, I'm an outlaw. I love breaking rules. I will go deep dirtbag for the thrill of it, and to get a reaction out of you.
So there we were with a big can of Deviled Ham. I love that stuff: greasy, smooth-grainy, salty, baking spices flavoring the meat. We recently ate D. Ham on Saltines. But everybody knows you gotta use Ritz. Ritz is salty, greasy, with baking spices. (And it's a little sweet.)
Well, I was all ready to snarf up my divine devils, but I got a thought. Snazz it up! Make it a Canna-Pay!
Without veering from my lowbrow food sourcing, I grabbed a jar of cocktail olives. Salty! Even a little greasy. (Sadly, those pimientos don't taste like they used to, and you can see they're "chopped and formed.")
Quite the Hor Doover.


Zoomie said...

That potted ham (Underwood?) was my mother's favorite for making sandwiches with very thin bread. Ah, the memories, you rascal, you!

peter said...

I got stupider just reading this post. C'mon, Cookie- make some pâté, get some local olives. Crackers? You can't make crackers? Don't succumb.

You know those snugglies things that are like a blanket with a hood or some shit? I had a vision of couches with catheters that we could just zip ourselves into and check out forever.

Was that enough of a rise?

Ms Brown Mouse said...

The correct phrase is 'horses' doovers' actually :)
Our local deli sells olives stuffed with the following - almonds, sundried toms, blue cheese (erk), fetta and chilli - no traditional pimento!

kudzu said...

Holy mama! I can't believe you like deviled ham -- and admit it. I thought I was the only one who sneaked those little pleated-paper-wrapped no-no things into my grocery cart. It's a holdover from childhood.

During WWII a Saturday lunch would be d.h. sandwiches with mayo on white bread (natch) with that orange "dairy drink" that wasn't really juice, wasn't really soda. Big treat because we were eating meat (sort of) and didn't have to drink milk.

I have made my own deviled ham from scratch but of course it has ingredients that are so good it can't possibly taste the same.

Hungry Dog said...

Yeah baby. Deviled ham Ritz.

cookiecrumb said...

Zoomie: Oh, yes, Underwood! Cranky's mother made sandwiches with it too, but it was too expensive for my mom.

Peter: C'mon, Peter. I make crackers, I have cured my own olives, I've done pate. Why do you come here? Do I ever nag you? I'm just trying to tell a funny story while wearing my Slanket.

Mouse: Yikes. I think I've had an olive stuffed with garlic, and, Wow. (I actually hated pimiento when I was young.)

Kudzu: Deviled ham is very soothing with its fat and salt and spices. (You still buy it too!!)
I love that you made deviled ham from scratch.

Dog: It's on a Ritz!

Ms Brown Mouse said...

my dad once accused me of trying to poison him with garlic :)

Kelly said...

you'd make a great Aussie with that accent!

Greg said...

Deep dirtbag!? You go girl. Someone had to say it. Everything is better when it sits on a Ritz.

namastenancy said...

greasy, smooth-grainy, salty and YUMMY! I occasionally give in to my yen for Underwood but I like it on Ackmak crackers - the Armenian ones and I know I'm not spelling the name right. Our local deli has as olives stuffed with blue cheese and while my doctor would have a fit, I occasionally indulge. Actually, I like to "built" my cracker with a good mustard, humus, deviled ham, an olive and then, a thin smear of hot sauce. The ham made be deviled but I swear that I've died and gone to heaven.
Thanks for the inspiration - unlike Peter, I swear that reading this post raised my IQ by several points.

cookiecrumb said...

Peter: Let me add that I'm now interpreting your nasty comment as a lark, that you thought I wanted to get beat up on because I asked for reactions. You might have thought you sounded funny.
Happy Hannukah.

Mouse: There is no such thing as garlic poisoning, although Cranky attempted it on one of the first meals we cooked together. :)

Kelly: Wow! Well, I do have a book on Australian slang, thanks to Ms Mouse, above. Kelly, meet Mouse.

Greg: You say you want a revolution? It's starting.

Nancy: Your built cracker is insane! I know if I tried it I'd cry and purr and burp and make another. Wow.

Ms Brown Mouse said...

*waves to Kelly*

Peter said...

"I will go deep dirtbag for the thrill of it, and to get a reaction out of you."

I wasn't beating up. Try to imagine the very same said in person, over dinner, and you might see where I was coming from.

Zoomie said...

Peter, with a twinkle in your eye, right?