"Cornfields are the scariest things on the entire fucking face of the planet. I don't mean that in a Joe-Pesci-being-clubbed-to-death-with-an-aluminum-baseball-bat kind of way, and I don't mean it in a butchering-hitchhikers kind of way. I don't even mean it in an alien-autopsy-remains-used-as-fertilizer kind of way. I mean it in a Big-Corn-Archer Daniels Midland/Cargill/Monsanto-genetically-modified-high-fructose-ethanol kind of way. Corn is a fucking nightmare. A thousand years ago it was a stem of grass with one scuzzy little kernel; now it's a bloated, foot-long, buttery carb dildo."
From Generation A by Douglas Coupland, Scribner 2009
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10 comments:
A bloated, foot-long, buttery carb dildo! O my!
I never would even imagine corn as a sexual device. I do get excited by buying yellow corn from Safeway. Here me out. Good yellow corn is not in favor with farmers markets and such. Safeway has an exclusive contract with California growers for their yellow corn. I cannot tell you what the name or variety of yellow corn it is, but is cheap and delicous. It may be called "Mellowmonsantoyellow"
I eat small corn, too. Bigger than a scuzzy kernel, but smaller than Big.
wowsa! love that!
Mouse: O my, indeed.
Chilebrown: There's room for all tastes. I just try not to support monoculture, and I'm squeamish about fungicides and insecticides. So you don't eat my corn, and I won't eat yours. Plenty to go around.
Heather: Saving the world, one cob at a time.
Kelly: He's a good writer, but this book might not be his best.
Corn Porn! Oh hell yes.
Dang, e tu corn? But you taste so good, in a buttery carb and sexy kind of way. Now I'll have to be ashamed in the morning.
Greg: Corn Porn! Wish I'd thought of that. Good.
Hiker: Hi, howdy. Don't do the walk of shame; get your corn at the farmers market.
Eat organic corn, that's the only way to be sure you are not eating something that is genetically modified.
Recession: Indeed! Better still, I know the farmers I buy the corn from.
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