Thursday, August 21, 2008

Premier Cru

Look closely.
Aw, did you blink? You probably missed 'em.
Those were grapes. Two of them, each about the size of the "O" on your keyboard.
We planted four grapevines this summer: chardonnay, cabernet, sauvignon blanc and pinot noir. Wine's greatest hits.
And this was our harvest. Two itty, bitty pinot noir grapes.
By the time they had fully ripened (the photo was taken about three weeks ago), they were indeed noir. Dark, almost black skin; too thick to make for pleasant eating, and there was a gravel-sized seed inside each grape.
But the juice was really, really good. Juicy good.
I can imagine some prehistoric gourmand coming across this plant and concluding "Nope, not so great for eating. But imagine what great juice they'll make. Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze. I'll just set this bottle of juice over here in this cave for a few months, and... Zut alors! I've invented wine!"
That's the way it happened, don't you think?

22 comments:

el said...

See, I like to think the magic of wine, beer, sourdough bread, etc. was the mashup of happy accident and tightwaddery: oops that juice went bad, but we don't have any more... hey: taste this!...not bad!...(hic!)

Give yourself a few years on the grapes though.

kudzu said...

Thankyousomuch for making me burst out laughing after hours of slogging away at copy, here. I salute your grapes (all both of them). Patienza.

Kitikata-san said...

Wow! That is really awesome! Those berries are really cute! Mmm cute wine.

Zoomie said...

Two years ago, my peach tree was a little cute-but-sad like these but this year it's loaded with fruit! Be patient, Grasshopper, it will come.

Nikki Miller-Ka said...

Oh! You're so super-cool, planting the cru de la cru (hee hee) of grapes! I am jealous! I want to see more!

dancingmorganmouse said...

It's a start - are you & the Mr planning to make wine?

cookiecrumb said...

El: And knowing me, I'd be even happier if the accident slogged over into vinegar-land.
Thanks for the zen on the vines.

Kudzu: I guess we should be happy we got the two wee twins this early! Next year, raisins! Watch out, Fresno.

Kitikata-san: Cute. yes. (Cute wine?? Oh, I will embed this wish in my brain. Thank you.)

Zoomie: Deep breaths. I'm in no hurry (and congratulations on the fecundity of the peach tree, at last. Yes, we want some!)

Nikki: There is NOTHING more to see. We ate the babies, and that's it for the year. :(

cookiecrumb said...

Morgan: There is not enough juice, even if all four plants produce prodigiously, to make wine.
So... Maybe it's all just ornamental.

cookiecrumb said...

Morgan: OMG! The Brown Mouse!!!!!!!!! Eeeeeeee.

Also. Poor Colin, though I suppose that was just a huge media mess.

cook eat FRET said...

yeah right, like in no time flat you'll have bushels of grapes and you'll be stomping them in your bare feet making great wine.

i know how you are...

Ilva said...

wine grapes are SO good to eat, I nick a lot every morning now when I take the dog out for its morning walk. We stole a piece of our neighbour's grape wine (fragolino type) like three years ago and even though it does grow a lot no grapes so you guys are LUCKY!

Anna Haight said...

Cute as a bug's ear!

Dagny said...

So cute!

dancingmorganmouse said...

Cookie, Colin made me weep, and yes a real media mess. Real life can be so harsh.

namastenancy said...

Just remember - giant oaks from little acorns.

cookiecrumb said...

Cook Eat Fret: I'd love to wallow around in a big tub of 'em, but it'll be a few years (and by then I'll be a wrinkled hag). Oh, wait. I'm already a wrinkled hag.

Ilva: I suppose at this point I'm supposed to wish you Patienza. :D
Yes, they are really good to eat.

Anna: And about as big!

Dagny: See, we weren't *going* for cute. But we got cute. I have to laugh.

Morgan: I can hardly bear to think about animals sometimes. It's so beyond my control.

Nancy: Giant oaks, or maybe just self-indulgent gardening. Still, patience... :)

Michelle said...

Definitely. Those Pinot grapes - I knew there was a reason they were superior, I just hadn't quite figured it out yet...

cookiecrumb said...

Michelle: They have a destiny. I hope I can fulfill it.

katiez said...

I'm pretty sure that's how it went - except the guy who put it in the cave didn't really mean to let it sit that long.... He just forgot where he put it. His wife found it...

cookiecrumb said...

KatieZ: Howl!!! [thoughts of hubster standing in front of open drawer, failing to see carrot peeler]

Except maybe my prehistoric gourmand was a gourmande, and she did it on purpose!

The Spiteful Chef said...

Here's the deal, Ms. Crumb: I, being particularly gifted in the arena of comedy, do not laugh easily at the comedy of others. I am difficult to please that way, instead choosing my associations based on who will at least appreciate my (usually esoteric) jokes, since I won't be appreciating any of theirs. But use of the term "Zut Alors!" by a prehistoric man made me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants. I appreciate you. Even if your grapes are a little sad. Next year, perhaps, they'll get some muscle.

cookiecrumb said...

Cheffie: I imagined my prehistoric gourmand lived in the Lascaux caves; therefore he was French. He did not (yet) drive a Renault. But, man, he could draw a good buffalo.