Sunday, January 06, 2008

Can I Get a Little Farm Aid?

My winter crops are devastated.
First it was the flooding from all that rain.
Then came the hurricane-force winds, knocking tender plants right on their sides.
It wasn't until the rain stopped that I could go outside to take a look. I've been uprooted!
This is a broccoli plant, lying flat with its roots exposed. (Yes, I could do a little weeding, but much of that debris floated or blew in. Leave me alone; I'm grieving. Yeah, that's it. Widow's weeds. Ha.)
I can understand a towering, top-heavy tree with shallow roots tipping over in these conditions. But a harmless little backyard kitchen-garden plant? And this wasn't the only one. The cauliflower plants took it on the chin, too.
I figure I'm due some compensation. And maybe even some under-the-table payoffs if I promise to continue not to grow cotton.
Not gonna happen, of course.
So, next-best proposal: Farm Aid.
Joan Baez, come on up. Neil Young, too. You guys don't live too far away. If Willie Nelson and John Mellencamp want to come too and croon to my soggy farm, so much the better.
I'll be the one at the front door, selling tickets.


Amy Sherman said...

Maybe it's time to start growing rice?

Zoomie said...

I want the t-shirt concession!

Anita said...

oh, aroo! At least we got to see your winter patch pre-hurricane. :( I hope some of your crops can be resurrected.

In addition to our back door ripping off the hinges, our bergamot tree tipped over, apparently without any root damage. Cameron righted it and bungeed it to a nearby fence, and it looks as good or better than new. So far, no leaf drop or any other signs of stress, fingers crossed.

The lazy DPW still hasn't come to remove the 30-foot tree that's entirely blocking our street; that seems a little crazy, to me.

Jack said...

Are peas look so sad.

And who knows if the favas will ever sprout...wouldn't there have to be some warmth, some sun?

foodperson said...

Alas, now you have a hint at the hazards midwestern gardeners contend with every year.

jen maiser said...

we could have a fundraiser!

Catherine said...

I went out for a walk today and there's so many trees down!

My kids playstructure sailed 15 feet, but fortunately didn't hit anything. What a wild storm.

Happy New Year to you.

Moonbear said...

Hey maybe you should just stick those broccoli plants back in the ground, in about 5 inches deep. They might just go...

Dagny said...

A concert sounds like a lovely idea. Why don't you throw in Huey Lewis, Carlos Santana, and Pete Escovedo as well? Oh, and if you really want to rock out, Metallica.

ChrisB said...

You have been having a terrible time over there. I too wondered if you could replant!
As for your little fundraiser now that would be an excuse for me to return!

Anonymous said...

(They'll be fine! And get yourself a stirrup hoe. Quick work, little effort.)

You poor Californians. I guess you really aren't used to craziness, weather-wise. Mudslides maybe, fires certainly and then that e-word, but "mellow" is certainly more your speed! I hope you all dig out and dry out soon. Seriously.

Cyndi said...

That little thing looks so pathetic. If Willie Nelson comes, let me know. Right now we're shoveling out from under 2 feet of snow.

Greg said...

I spoke with Bubba Bush and he said "the check is in the mail" or something to that effect;)

Sam said...

DPW were picking up the poor little up-rooted trees and sticking them straight back in the ground at 8am Saturday morning on my street. That broccoli looks like he might survive if you did the same with him. Though it might not be worth it since I don't really care for the broccolis.

peter said...

Heckuva job, Cookie.

cookiecrumb said...

Amy: Apparently I've got the right conditions for rice. Well, puffed rice.

Zoomie: I hear there's a stiff negotiation fee with the producer, and she has final say on the shirts, but - yeah!

Anita: Glad you saw my little elf forest in its pristine state. The onions were unharmed by the way.
I'm shocked, shocked! by your door ripping off its hinges. And shockeder still at the idea of the two of you repairing it in you PJs in the howling rain. Shudder, and good work!

Jack: The green vegetables are new to me as a gardener. My broccoli has been in the ground for months, and it still looks barren (if not dead, now). So I commiserate with you.

foodperson: I'd be a fair-weather gardener, I'm afraid, if I lived in the Midwest. Soldier on, and good luck.

Jen: Yes, fundraiser it is. Plus we get to hear all that good music, in my backyard. (That was the point!)

Catherine: Glad you're not gonna be sued for swing-set invasion! Happy New Year to you.

Moonbear: I thought I might do that! Then I waited, oh, two too many days? Might give it a try tomorrow.

Dagny: I think I can get Maria Muldaur, Bob Weir and maybe Chris Isaak too.

Chris: Once we get all the acts scheduled, I'll give you a jingle. Should be fun!

Fast (etc.): Those are all disasters. No getting used to that. The wind/rain storm was huge, unusual, and international news. We're not wusses. ;-)
Stirrup hoe. I think I know just what that looks like; thanks.

Cyndi: So sorry that storm finally caught up with you. Willie was asking about you, so there's hope!

Greg: Aw, you're as big a liar as Dubya! Thanks for trying, though.

Sam: Don't trust DPW. They probably just didn't want to haul away anymore trees. (What a cute, cartoonish scene that must have been.)

Peter: Yeah, but I'm good with Arab steeds! Honest, it says so on my resume.

Bri said...

Glad you survived the weather, even if your garden didn't. It really was crazy. I've never heard wind hit the side of the house like that. I thought the windows were going to crash in on us.
But, as far as I'm concerned, paying you not to grow cotton seems as worthy a cause as any.

kudzu said...

Don't bother with cotton -- stick those veggies back into their mama soil and be gentle with them and I'll bet they will be fine...Since I have no winter garden, I had to deal with ornamentals that got displaced, but all is well after whirlwinds I couldn't believe, and horizontal rain. Today I went outside feeling blinded by sunshine.

Don't forget Dan Hicks, if you're still planning a Marin Farmaid show. And maybe Vinyl, just to draw in some younguns.

ann said...

That happened to my peppers when a tornado blew through our back yard. In Brooklyn.
I feel your pain.

Rev. Biggles said...

You need to wander down the street and buy you some action to make a portable greenhouse. And also buy those hugeass nails that're more than 6" long and nail that sucker to the mud. Or something.


cookiecrumb said...

Bri: Thanks for corroborating my weather experience. A lot of people from other regions think we're just too wimpy to handle a little wind and rain. Feh. And I say that lovingly.

Kudzu: I love Dan Hicks! Hah, and Vinyl. Very Marin.

Ann: Tornado in Brooklyn! I'm scared! In solidarity and flattened vegetables.

Biggles: If I'd had a greenhouse out there, 6" nails or longer, I'd probably be the victim of a lawsuit by now. "Irresponsible Gardener Causes Flying Shrapnel." "Neighbors Complain of Nails in Oranges." "Flappy Plastic Sheeting Makes People Mad."

Holler said...

It will become a yearly event, the event not the crops failing! It will become legend!