Tuesday, January 16, 2007

OK, Yes, I'm Weird; Aren't You?

I will never know how most readers of this humble blog arrive on my doorstep, but I do think I know how Beccy, who tagged me for the "Five Things Most People Don't Know About Me" meme, came into my world. I suspect it might have had something to do with her mum. Or maybe even her sister.
However I happened to acquire my new "family," I'm very happy about it.
And I'm pleased to play.
1) When I was about five, my mom was outside hanging laundry to dry. I took the opportunity to peek into the larder, where the first thing that caught my eye was the bottle of vinegar. Mm! I got myself a little juice glass and poured about half an inch of vinegar, which I planned to sip and savor in a most sophisticated way. Until my mom walked into the kitchen unexpectedly.
Good god, I couldn't let her know what a weirdo I was, could I? I would have to destroy the evidence. So I gulped the entire contents of the glass (probably no more than a tablespoon or so) — and then the tears started running down my face.
I wasn't crying. I was reacting. Ohmygah. Sour! Hot!
But it didn't cure me. It reinforced me. Still got that sour tooth.
2) I turned down an opportunity to party with Depeche Mode — all of 'em — back in the '80s one night, and it happened to be Martin Gore's birthday. Hell. Actually, it was Cranky who turned down the opportunity for us both, it being rather late at night when the invitation came. Killjoy.
3) Up until the age of 10 or 11, I firmly believed that I would grow up to be a professional ballerina. I have no rational basis for this.
4) Eric Ripert once fed me a buttery grilled sandwich of smoked salmon and caviar, in a Mill Valley private kitchen. I think I swooned.
5) At the age of about 13, I broke my front tooth with a yo-yo. Not a happy scenario, especially considering I had just come out of braces — which didn't really work, because I was too young when they came off, and my mouth kept growing, and the gap returned. Anyway, I went all through junior high school being called "witch" by the cruddy boys (who at least were unaware, due to the huge snaggletooth, that I was also gap-toothed) — great for my budding self-esteem. Finally my parents arranged to have the tooth repaired in 10th grade... but the gap remains.
Should I tag you? I'd love to spread the fun, so I recommend you just join in on your own. But for you stragglers, I pick: Tammy, Stacie, Anna and Sean. (It's cool if you cop out, you losers.)


Tea said...

I can't believe you (well, Cranky) turned down an invite to party to Depeche Mode. My former 1980s teenage self is writhing in anguish at that one.

As for the vinegar thing--my best friend in elementary school and I used to eat triscuts and carrots dipped in salad dressing, until I realized I liked straight vinegar better. You and I were born to be picklers, don't you think?

Stacie said...

Man, you coolness never ends! I spent the 80s a sullen teen locked in my room, staring blankly at my Depeche Mode posters... I guess you call him Cranky for a reason! Oh, wait, Stacie... that's me...

Dagny said...

Omigod!!! You had a chance to party with Depeche back in the 80s and didn't? I so would have killed for that opportunity back then.

And vinegar, huh? My weaknesses were lemons, to be eaten the way most people eat oranges, and butter. I can still hear my mother screaming about ruined tooth enamel and clogged arteries.

Jack said...

Ah, Depeche Mode! Once, my favorite band. I listened to them since their first single. I still have more than 100 vinyl records of theirs in my garage.

But it's Joanne and Gence who listen to them (esp. their last album) a damn lot. They Just Can't Get Enough.

Monkey Gland said...

I had a gap between my teeth until about a year ago when a dentist who was fixing a broken front tooth (snap!)filled it in for me. Without telling me. I'm still not sure!

Beccy said...

Thanks cookie

I too can't believe that you didn't party with Depeche Mode.

The vinegar incident made me laugh. When I was young I found something that looked tasty in the fridge (it turned out to be a cheesecake) so I stuck a finger in to investigate. Imagine the horror when it left a hole. I might add that I strongly suspected that this wasn't for us as I knew Mum was going to a tennis club party. So I ran away, up the road to the big fir tree, which was as far as I was allowed to go. I hid behind the tree for what seemed like forever and when I came home, a bit peeved that no one had missed me I saw the cheesecake beautifully decorated with fruit, my hole covered and not a word was said.

sher said...

Loved reading all that--and thank you for the picture from Night Of The Lving Dead. :)

ChrisB said...

Well what a claim to fame 'turned down a party invite to Depeche Mode' !!

I had to search to find out who Eric Ripert is. I can now see the connection and why you swooned.

Beccy Parent's don't always make a big deal of things. I knew what you had done and that you would be scared of getting into trouble (punishment enough) so covered it with the fruit decoration (grapes and oranges if I remember correctly).

Beccy said...

I remember those satsuma segments you used Mum but don't know if it was on that particular cheesecake!

Sam said...

I love Depeche Mode too.
I saw them live in 1986 and 2000.
That is a long term commitment to liking them, I think you will agree.

cookiecrumb said...

Well, for all you anguish-writhing 80s teenagers, your mom wouldn't have let you go hang with Depeche Mode either. I mean, it was after 10 o'clock! Too late for youngsters. Cranky's problem was that he was too "old." (You can be old at any age. He's young now.)
Yeah. Still kicking myself. Kicking Cranky, I mean.

(Sam: I think this WAS in 1986. San Francisco.)

Tammy said...

I can't pass up a dare like that. Especially when teenage orthodontia is involved.

Anna Haight said...

Ok I'll play! I loved hearing the tidbits -- Depeche Mode! Wow. I was crazy for lemons in elementary school -- used my money at the 'candy' store on the way home, which also was a fruit stand to buy fresh lemons. My Mom freaked about the possibility of ruined enamel! Hope there isn't a time limit on this, as I have my next blog post already committed.

Catherine said...

I can't believe the Depeche Mode turn down! Hard to know what you and Cranky were thinking. I think your faithful public would like to hear the gruesome details. I take this as a serious lesson about opportunities! ;-)

Liz said...

The first concert I ever went to was Depeche Mode (in 89 or 90)... my mom didn't let me out of the house much.

Come to think of it, I still don't get out of the house much. ;)

The first meal James ever made for me was accompanied by bitter greens with lemon juice. No dressing, just lemon juice. Yikes! My "sour tooth" isn't very well developed.

cookiecrumb said...

Tammy: Yeah, headgear woe. To think I went through all that and failed...

Anna: Yay! No time limit. Have fun.

Catherine: Well, I'll tell you what I was thinking: I wanted to go. Cranky, however, had just settled down for a long winter's nap, and wouldn't be budged. See, he was never into Depech Mode at all... Old coot.

Liz: I'm seeing a scary lemon theme developing here in the comments. ;-)
I missed seeing the Beatles in -- well, y'know, back when they were the Beatles -- because my mom refused to let me go. By the time I was old enough to make concert-going decisions on my own, they had stopped touring.