Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Gluten-Free by 2050

I've been enjoying some particularly lovely, rainless December days recently.
But, as surely as every cloud has a silver lining, I'm afraid every unseasonable sunny day has its ring around the collar, its withering Dorian Gray portrait, its really scary-looking guy holding a corncob.
A new "blog" at the New York Times (I don't believe it's ever really a true blog if your boss makes you write it) has a brief today on the effects of creeping climate change: The U.S. wheat crop is doomed.
In another 40 years or so, the "belly" of America's wheat crop will have shifted to Canada due to global warming.
That's a big loss.
It's likely that the soybean and corn crops will be similarly affected, but let me be a little unpatriotic and say "buh-bye" to them. And take that scary-looking mook, too, eh?


Anonymous said...

2050? "Eh. We'll all be dead."

Kate P

cookiecrumb said...

Kate P: {{howl!!}} How very funny. I happen to have just picked up a great new book, "The Story of the End of the World" by historian Jonathan Kirsch, which is a study of the Book of Revelation, aka the Apocalypse. I got as far as oh, let's see... PAGE ONE, where I learned it's predicted that the Antichrist will fall after seven years of oppression and persecution. So, hmm. (Add, carry, erase, subtract, total): One more year? ;-)
PS: We get one thousand more years of life on earth after that before we leave our shoes behind. I'm good for that.

Anonymous said...

Well, barley and rye have gluten, too - So no worries, you can still get your gluteny goodness.

My first reaction to this was "Yay, if everyone stopped eating wheat I could find things to eat so much more easily"... Shortly followed me "Shit, global warming... We're all going to die. And soon."

Shauna said...

Well, I feel like quite the trendsetter, then.

It's not so bad, being gluten-free. But, the heat and miserable conditions would suck.

Everyone should start learning how to make baked goods with rice flour, right now!

Anonymous said...

I knew it. I'm packing up and heading for Canada. See ya...

sfmike said...

I'm with Tammy. Canadians are the cutest white people in the world.

And cookiecrumb, I love your definitive statement, "I don't believe it's ever really a true blog if your boss makes you write it." Agree with you completely.

Moonbear said...

Today's great bumper sticker:

the rapture is not an exit strategy

cookiecrumb said...

BTB: I'm not "pro gluten," just so you know. (And I didn't know barley had gluten.) I was just worried about a national economy. I could live without gluten myself, but -- oy, like you: Shit, we're all going to die. But with such good suntans! :D

Shauna: You are, in fact, *more* than an inspiration.

Tammy: Can we get national healthcare?

Mike: You stop being so funny.

Moonbear: Winner! ding-ding-ding

Dagny said...

Hmmm. Canada is starting to sound appealing. The one drawback has been winter but if things are going to warm up some more...

cookiecrumb said...

Dagny: Holy ****! That has been my main hurdle. You may be right!
Last one in is a rotten egg!

Anonymous said...

Barley is pretty healthy:


I vote for Victoria!

kudzu said...

Well, okay, I would rather comment on the W image. Do you see how he took that nice, even little tenuous bite from the corn? I mean it looks like it was measured and cut with a knife. Kind of scary. And I won't even think of his possible fantasies about that nice firm, well-shaped -------------oh, no, I won't go there.

mrs d said...

Canada. Yep, I've been dusting off my dual citizenship for the last six years. Fundraising for the move north begins as soon as we figure out where we packed Chopper's hockey jersey.

Also, what sfmike said. If I'm not my own boss on my blog, it's not a blog. Down with the man, man.

Stacie said...

I got an idea where that freak can stick that corncob! That'd wipe the smirk off his mug! (me bitter, naw!)

cookiecrumb said...

Anna: I like barley. Chewy! See you on Vancouver Island.

Kudzu: You don't think he had his royal taster take that bite? I'd like to polonium a little maize for his majesty.

Mrs D: I'll do your ironing. Wash your dishes (hell, I've seen your kitchen). Just take me with you.

Stacie: See that ugly grimace? He'd totally like to stick it to us and -- wait, he already does.