Sunday, November 06, 2005

J'accuse... No, Wait, J'admets!

There's a fun spate of culinary confessions making the rounds. It began with David Lebovitz, I believe, and has been spinning out from there.
I thought it was embarassing enough having to post a picture of my pile of unwashed dishes (though I'm getting a little better with the dishwasher — it's just that I've lived without one for so long, I'm out of practice).
But it's been a hoot to learn that careful cooks are full of foibles. Such as "I wash mushrooms." (Lebovitz) "I don't taste things I prepare before I serve them." (Comfort Food) "I have Velveeta in my pantry." ( Sweetnicks ) And others.
I don't feel terribly confessional, but give me another glass of confession juice (confession: Two Buck Chuck) and I'll see what I can come up with. OK:
1) Some of my dried herbs are really, really old.
2) I buy salsa at Big Lots for about half a dollar (or less) a bottle.
3) One year at Thanksgiving, I couldn't find the turkey baster. Because it was still sitting on the kitchen counter, unwashed, from the year before. Behind a stack of, oh god, I don't even remember.
4) Spam. I don't know what to do with it or why I have it, but there it is. Two cans: turkey and, uh, "real"?
5) We eat most of our dinners in front of the TV. Not even on an actual dining room table.
6) I cooked a bitter melon once, but threw it away after one bite. (Well, so would you.)
7) I have a really hard time with basil.
8) Sometimes I get jittery at the farmers' market. Too many pushy yuppies, and I can't decide what to buy.
9) I've never tasted chervil.
10) For lunch yesterday, I had half a can of cold Rosarita refried beans, straight from the fridge, straight from the can, with a big sploosh of Big Lots salsa.
11) I'm a little nutty about those twisty white threads in a raw egg. I'll spend ten minutes trying to remove them before I cook the egg.
12) I've only used my KitchenAid mixer two times.
13) I will drive thousands of miles for a meal. My honeymoon was food-themed, and ran across the entire continent.
14) (I'm going to bury this one deep inside, in case anyone's actually reading.) I'm more into the Idea of food than the Eating of food. In other words, I can compose a meal like the deaf Beethoven could compose a score, and I don't actually have to "hear" it. I know what it sounds like. Besides, sometimes I'm just not hungry. But I like thinking about food.
15) Doritos.


LisaSD said...

Oh, cookiecrumb, from one Big Lots shopper to another, I too would rather think about food than eat it, most of the time. What's the deal with that? It's just not right!

cookiecrumb said...

Lisa: I should tell you, all my Big Lots forays take place in Escondido. Remember when it was Pic 'n' Pay?
(I would have swiped your confession about serving food without tasting it first, but I didn't want to plagiarize.)
We shame our "profession" of food blogging. :P

mrs d said...

Oh you lucky Californians... up here it's Three Buck Chuck.

Y'know, I was going to join the meme and blog my confessions, & then I remembered that Chopper and I started our very first post with Ten True Confessions. (Hah, we're so ahead of the crowd!) After that came the messy kitchen, so there's really nothing left to confess. Well, except maybe that bit about eating my sister's guinea pig food as a child. Oh, wait. I think I mentioned that once already...

Btw, I bet I could match you herb for herb in an aging contest. Mine would put a wine cellar to shame.

cookiecrumb said...

Aw, c'mon, mrs d. You got nothing more to add?
Hey, I have a jar of Chinese five-spice powder that's 24 years old. And a tin of powdered sage from the Eisenhower era (but it's something I swiped from my mom's trashcan when she was updating *her* aged spices, because the can is so retro).

Kalyn said...

Big Lots Rocks. Here it was Pic-n-Save, then McFrugals, and now Big Lots. Big Lots is the best incarnation yet.

cookiecrumb said...

Kalyn: I prolly got it wrong; I don't live there, so I didn't memorize the name. I bet it *was* Pic-n-Save. (I used to tease my mom that it was Pic-n-Pocket.)
Went to Costco today to stock supplies in the event of an avian flu outbreak! I'm livin' La Vida Boondocks! (search for Nov. 7)
Mrs. D, are you listening??

deborah said...

Hi Cookiecrumb - I've just come across your blog and I totally laughed at all your confessions - only because they are so real to life! Yay for a reality check in the food blogging world! I'll be back, and will eventually post my own culinary confessions. Number 1. Store bought dips and chips. I can never stop at just one dip.

cookiecrumb said...

Hi Saffron: I'm glad you stopped by. I've been meaning to chase you down, due to some comments you've made on other blogs (JamFaced?) that piqued my attention. So now I will!

drbiggles said...

OoooOOoo, I have a confession. I don't like to use my le creuset fry pans.
And after years and years of fighting it I finally am now a card carrying member of Safeway. I try to buy only booze with it though.


cookiecrumb said...

Yeah, Biggles, and they're tracking your purchases and transmitting the info to Homeland Security.
(Why don't you like Le Creuset? Really, wanna know.)

deborah said...

I wonder what it could have been...

Yes please do visit :)

MagicTofu said...

You don't like bitter melon? That's one of my favourite vegetable... you need something to mellow it out though (rice for exemple).

Ruth said...

I love your site and this post certainly made me smile.

And I thought I was the only one who did more thinking than actually cooking (the eating part I do only too well)

Thanks for sharing.

T said...

Hi cookiecrumb. I wandered over here via another blog (chubby hubby i think) and I just wanted to tell you Im enjoying it! I totally agree with you about doritos- Im a cool ranch girl myself. And Ive done the refried beans-salsa lunch before too (with some iceberg for crunch and sour cream for good measure when Im in the mood)

PS. I cant believe you say HRH Prince Charles! That mustve been surreal...

Jamie said...

I can't believe no one else has asked, but...HOW is it that you've only used your KitchenAid mixer twice??? I use mine, like, five times a week. I also have the grinder attachment.

But, confession: We also eat in front of the TV a lot of the time, and also I LIKE HOT DOGS. There, I said it.

cookiecrumb said...

Hello. My name is Cookiecrumb and I'm kinda inept about baking. (Isn't that what you mostly use your KitchenAid for?)
Please. I need guidance. Oh, and I do want to make sausage with it.
(Or hot dogs!!)

rae said...

oh my god - you pick out the white thing from eggs too? it's probably not true, but somewhere along the line i got it into my hollow little skull that they're umbilical cords. gross. the worst is when you order up a plate of eggs and they're just soft enough for you to locate that sucker amidst the pool of egg.

cookiecrumb said...

See, Rae, that's the thing. They're probably not umbilical cords, but I don't want to LOCATE them in my meal.
(You must update your blog, plz.)

Jamie said...

See, I forget that some people don't bake. Actually a lot of people don't bake. Make that most people.

I use the mixer for cookie dough, cake batter, whipped cream, meringue, bread dough, and the list goes on. I guess those are mainly baking things. I am dying to use the grinder to make sausage (I know it can be used to grind meat, but I tend to buy mine already ground), but I need to get the funnel-like attachment thingie first. So far I just use the grinder for marmalade. At that, it totally rocks. I suspect it would be a pretty good spaghetti maker if you took the blade out. Have been meaning to try that.

Every time I make a recipe where I use my KitchenAid, I will try to mention it. I love it so. :-)

Rachael said...

That white stringy thing is called chalazza. (Spelling not checked) Ewww.

excellent and hilarious confessions.

cookiecrumb said...

Rachael! That's extraordinarily informative, and you are extraordinarily informed. Thanks.

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