Monday, September 10, 2007

Are You Ready for Some Nachos?

Monday Night Football begins tonight. I'm not ordinarily interested in it, but my homies are kicking off the season. Go, Niners.
I'll be the first to say that watching football should only be done via television. I've been to a few stadium games, and, dammit, there's no instant replay. You don't get that holograph-y yellow line on the field showing you where the — um — what does that yellow line show you? Something about "must get ball this far or the down was a wash."
TV gives you all these great angles. Cutting and swooshing and "OK, you, Camera 3." (That sounded pretty technical, didn't it?)
Basically, I can't understand the game unless I'm seeing it on the tube and listening to a couple of annoying hacks explain things to me.
But there's one thing you don't get when you're watching a football game at home.
Stadium Nachos.
Trust me, they're horrible. But when you're watching the game live, some lout in the seat behind you waddles down with a steaming paper tray of scary orange napalm squirted all over dead tortilla chips, and if you (and he) are lucky, he will have asked for extra jalapeños to be scattered all over this mess.
It smells so-o-o good!
I've actually succumbed to buying a tray of this crud, and regretted it.
But it smells so good!
So for tonight's game, I decided to re-create Stadium Nachos using good, local cheddar along with good, local jalapeños. The rest of the ingredients are not quite so local.
I started with a bechamel, and stirred in my cheese. Added a splash of broth for that odd liquidiness.
I toasted store-bought tortillas in the oven to make chips.
And I trotted out the newly pickled peppers.
The cheese sauce curdled. I don't know what's worse: curdled homemade cheese sauce made with nice ingredients, or that peculiar orange goo that's pumped out of industrial containers. Well, mine tasted better.
The chips were OK.
But the jalapeños? They smelled so good!


Zoomie said...

Great idea! I'd add a few beans to those nachos and maybe a little salsa over the top but, man, that picture looks like the nachos smell - really, really good!

Anita (Married... with dinner) said...

No local chips? Tsk, I'm telling Steve on you! :)

Football on TV is a must; even better if there's TiVo to fast-forward through the timeouts. (Needless to say, in our TV-free household, there's not a lot of football these days.)

True story: At the last live football game we attended, we had excellent seats courtesy of a well-connected friend. At one point, I turned to Cam and deadpanned: "Where's the yellow line?" He laughed, and then looked at me, and said "You ARE kidding, right?"

I finally succeeded in convincing him I was joking, but he had a moment of sheer macho panic. So now it's one of our standard football banter shticks. (See also: Where's the blue light around the puck?)

cookiecrumb said...

Zoomie: Well, those additions would make them "good," but not Stadium. Dang, I gotta perfect my cheese goo.

Anita: Shh! Steve's chips are not made with local corn! I asked him. (We've been devouring the bag you left behind; all gone now.)
I love your family banter. Hockey... sheesh, that was another sport I *coudnot* watch until they invented the blue light.

Ms Brown Mouse said...

I don't get any of this - we don't have orange cheese down here (thank goodness) and I run screaming from the room if sport comes on TV - it makes my eyes bleed

Anita (Married... with dinner) said...

Well, not yet anyway; but he's going to be getting local corn next year. And in any case, the tortillas and the chips are made locally, so I figure they're halfway there... better than Tostitos :D

Catherine said...

God, I love Nachos! Home made, that is. Your photo has me drooling - my favorite things! Now, I rifting on nachos - Stilton nachos anyone!

meathenge said...

Local shmocal, that's SO 2004.

I totally forgot about football. Dang, I wish I'd been with you'se all.


Anonymous said...


Hey, they pulled that one out of the hat, and I was in the room with two Mr. Gloom and Doom fellows who just would not shut up about the Niners not going to win this football game.

We're Baptists here: we yell and scream and run down the aisles and that's just in our living room.

I LOVE YOUR COMMENTARY, which is much better than the lamebrain witless (and somehow, sounding toothless) commentary from The Booth. Those guys sounded like they were going to go ahead and order their room service before the game was over.

Give me DVR and TV any day.

I repeat: I love your commentary.

MrBaconpants said...

You need to a some Bacon Crumbs and you have yourself a meal!

Ed Bruske said...

Ah, memories of Rotel

tammy said...

That's looking awfully good right about now.

cookiecrumb said...

Mouse: No orange cheese for the Mouse? Hell, I'll bring you some. Good!
As for TV sports. Great excuse to go potter in the garden or diddle in the kitchen.

Anita: That is literally breathtaking news. Yippee.

Catherine: These, of course, are the merest whisper of nachos. You wanna shower them with salsa and olives and beans (sez Zoomie, and she's right), etc.
But Stilton? OMG, you just about talked me into it.

Rev. Biggles: OK, well, the Niners won. In a nutshell. So you know.
+I need to say this next thing in CODE: Local IS so 2004.+

Tana: My Mr. Gloom also predicted a loss. Hmph. Men. Can't live without 'em; can't kill 'em.
((Thank you, dearie!))

MrBaconPants: Your blog is cute! This is an advertisement for your blog. [People!!]
Bacon is good. Bacon is life-giving.

Ed: I'm hesitant to tell you how recently I actually opened a can of Rotel. (But not for Stadium Nachos.)

Tammy: My first year doing the Eat Local Challenge, I fell down on tortilla chips. First week, even. So you're doing fine.

Monkey Wrangler said...

I'm looking to can some jalapeƱos come the last week of september and looking to get a few more folk like y'all involved. It will be hella fun! Then, just think, nachos at will any time of the year, for years......go niners!

Stacie said...

YUMMO! me and my pal meghan have decided that since our goofy hubbies must watch football every sunday on their hd tv, we should dedicate the season to eatin! how did we enjoy the bears on sunday, with nachos! yes! here's to an excuse to share an afternoon and some yummy food, as for the football, i have no idea!

Anonymous said...

Curdled or not, I'd still eat it. I try not to discriminate against anything topped with cheese, and your picture makes it look totally food porn worthy.

Go Chiefs! (the husband made me put that.)

Susan from Food Blogga said...

I love the new yellow line they're using this year where it's like a circle that tracks the players' movements and makes it even easier to follow. (I'm going on four years watching, and I still don't know all of the positions.) I do know that your nachos look awesome, even if the cheese didn't come out exactly as you intended. And since it's Monday, that means I'll just have to make them!