Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Who Is Gwen?

Who is Gwen, and why is she leaving graffiti in my garden?
This is our Japanese cucumber plant. It has the most awesome tendrils; they seem to have an innate intelligence. There is a tomato cage surrounding the plant, and the tendrils almost unfailingly find the wire tiers and wrap themselves around, many, many times. Tightly.
It helps to hoist up the plant's weight as it grows. A vertical cucumber plant produces straight cucumbers; if it sprawls on the ground, they come out curled.
I've tried guiding some tendrils to what I thought would be a useful foothold, but they undo themselves when I'm not looking. "Butt out, garden amateur."
I'm puzzled why this particular tendril got all up in the grill of this innocent leaf. I guess it needed to grasp something, anything.
But what do you think it's trying to tell me?
"Surrender, Dorothy"?
"Some Pig!"?
Oh. No. I think I got it.
The cucumber plant's name is Gwen.
Welcome to my backyard, Gwen. Live long and prosper.
"Dup dor a'az Mubster," as they say in Vulcan. Which is probably about as legible as your next graffito will be.


kt said...

Gwen writes better with her tendrils blowin' in the wind than all of my boyfriends with an expensive pen. Your garden is clearly blessed! And I believe she enjoys the publicity of your blog.

Dagny said...

Oooo. The usage of "graffito." How did you know that I was reading Between You and I: A Little Book of Bad English over this past weekend?

Gwen is quite talented. Her writing is much more legible than some 5th graders I know.

Zoomie said...

Welcome to the blog world, Gwen. That's always been one of my favorite names!

kt said...

P.S. to Cookie: have you seen this?
It's on the same wavelength as your i.m.peach, sad but entertaining. Tessa told me about it...

Liz said...

I'm jealous. My garden never talks to me.

cookiecrumb said...

KT: That is sheer poetry, goddess. Your comment.
Hey, thanks for the positive vibz.

Dagny: Hah! Thanks. I am a bit of a language nerd. You, too, eh?
Gwen... Wow, I can't wait to see what she says next.

Zoomie: Gwen gratefully accepts your welcome, oh blog newcomer yourself! :D (People -- go visit Zoomie!)
Gwen: Kind of Gaelic or Welsh, yeh?

KT: Nope, but shall check it out. (Oh, Tessa. She of the golden curls.)

Liz: Your garden probably screams at you. Here in suburbia, I'm just happy for a scrawled message.
Isn't it cute??!!

Ms Brown Mouse said...

Gwen seems as clever as our passionfruit vines who delight with their tendril antics.

Tea said...

Aw, your plants just want to be friends with you (and what nice manners Gwen has to take the first step and introduce herself). Now you two go and play nicely, you hear.

Passionate Eater said...

I think that the cucumber plant meant to write, "I love Cookie Crumb, Cranky, and Bean Sprout" but found "Gwen" easier to write instead! Thank you for your kind words too. I'll miss SF, but can always virtually visit the Bay Area through your wonderful blog. Sorry I haven't been active in leaving comments on your site, but I've been reading. Is there going to be a Bay Area food blogger meet up soon? You would be top priority on my "to meet" list before I head off to New Orleans. :)

Anonymous said...

There are "faeries at the bottom of your garden". This is lovely.

Jennifer Maiser said...

I love Gwen and hope to meet her soon.

Anonymous said...

Of course her name is Gwen. What else would a cucumber be called?

El said...

What a beautiful photo.

p.s. Minimalist's 101 10-min. meal #28 today is Joe's Special. (You're so timely.)

Sam said...


Sam said...

meant wow, duh

Wren said...

Great photo!

cookiecrumb said...

DMM: Well, you know what they say... Tendril is the Night. Sigh.

Tea: I was so pleased! I guess she's happy, so I'm happy.

PE: Maybe not Bean Sprout so much. He mighta tried to pee on her leg, you know what I mean?
We will miss you in the Bay Area! I can't wait to read your New Orleans blog. I wish you a good move.
(I haven't heard about a local meetup this summer...)

Kudzu: There's magic out there, yes.

Jen: She's still there. We'll do something soon-soon! :D

KathyF: I hadn't really thought about it, but it is so perfect. Cranky says her full name is Gwen Q. Cumber.

El: Thanks. Just a lucky shot!
(Yeah, I caught the Bittman list. Heh!!)

Sam: Gwen could have written her name upside-down, and I'd probably have missed it. This is too lucky.

Wren: Thank you. Couldn't have done it without Gwen.

Anonymous said...


Zoomie said...

That Cranky, he's a clever one!

Zoomie said...

Thanks to you, I have some new readers, thanks!

cookiecrumb said...

Sean: Humble and terrific you. Thanks.

Zoomie: Enjoy!!

s'kat said...

Now that you know her name, you won't be able to eat her! Clever, clever little cuke.

cookiecrumb said...

s'kat: Oh damn. :D

Monkey Gland said...

It's that bloody Gwen Stefani! I caught her in my tomatoes the other day, the tiny pop wastrell!